okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
