Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
