i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
As shirtless as possible
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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