none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
