It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
