No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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