I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
