just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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