The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
