Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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