I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
