Dual....:-)
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
