OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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