Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
