Apparently you make a good broom.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
