This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sorry about my life...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
