I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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