at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
