im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
