whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
