2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
