By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
