My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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