Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We're too hungover to prance.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
