Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Where are you guys?
Drunk
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
