Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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