My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
