he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
