I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
