:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
