I think I died a long time ago.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
