he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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