Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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