would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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