She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
