3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
