flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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