Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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