Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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