Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
