You can't special order awesome
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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