were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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