I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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