the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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