As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
