Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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