I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
