i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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