She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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