Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
